Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Friday, July 29, 2005

I Am the Last American Male (Not Into Anal)

OK, that's a slight exaggeration, in that I have nothing against it, really. It's just not my first choice, and not even my third or fourth. If the person I'm with wants to have anal sex, I'll probably go along with it. Even if she wants me to be on the receiving end (I've taken a good pegging in the past more than once).

But for the love of all that is kinky, what is it with the preoccupation in porn these days with all things anal? I went to rent a porn DVD a few nights ago. Haven't had any new porn in quite a while. It took forever to pick one out. Part of the reason for that was the local video store had re-done the way they handle adult DVDs. (They used to provide opaque black bags for you to put them in before bringing them to the counter, so that casual shoppers in the family part of the store didn't have to see the cover of Cock Gobblers 18. I guess not enough people followed this rule, so they now have a plain blue box beside the real box. So once you pick a flick, you still have to see if you can find the blue box.) Almost every disc I wanted was apparently checked-out. But part of the reason was that there just wasn't that many different choices. Oh, there were hundreds of different discs, just not that much choice.

(At this point, I start getting explicit. I also review the one disc I finally settled on.)

It is an exaggeration to say that all the discs were anal-themed. Not much of one, but an exaggeration all the same. But even those that weren't outright titled as such, I could be sure would be full of the bangin' of the ass. What is the overwhelming fascination with this? In this day and age, I find it hard to think that anal sex is really that much of a remaining taboo. Hell, kids in high school are using it as birth-control, blissfully unaware of the other health risks it brings with it.

Oh, and speaking of health risks, who decided that "ATM" (Ass-to-Mouth) was going to be the new "in" thing? Is this some sort of degradation/humiliation fantasy thing? Maybe it's a way of saying, "I own this person-- she'll do anything I want her to!" But in an industry that is so keenly-aware of the risks of disease, can that many people really be unaware of how dangerous this is?

I'm not talking about scenes blocked or cut to look like the guy is taking his dick right from her ass and sticking it in her mouth. I'm talking about scenes that have no cuts in them, where it is clearly happening. And not just that-- alternating the cock between the ass and the vagina repeatedly, too. Are these girls that gullible, that they weren't worried about the infections this could lead to?

This isn't just a random screed, here. I did in fact come home with a DVD, one called "Women of Color #9". It featured a woman on the cover called "Sativa Rose", and from the back it looked like she would be fun to watch. And the other women looked promising, too.

Before I get too tangential, let me point out the good:
  • The women were all very real-looking. No enhancements. Not a single fake boob to be found.
  • The first scene was a threesome with two women. It started out with just the two of them, and that part was amazing. They kissed passionately and deeply, not the tip-of-the-tongue wagging that you usually see. When they were going down on each other, they were going down, with enthusiasm. When the man joined in, they double-teamed sucking him, including a lot of sloppy kissing around the head and shaft of his cock. The scene was just plain hot.
  • The selection of women was good-- a nice mix of Latinas and blacks. Before viewing, I was under the impression Sativa Rose was probably Indian (with a name like Sativa), but she's Mexican. So rather than getting three ethnicities, I got the two (though the last girl claimed to be half-Japanese, half-Panamanian, so not sure where to categorize her). All of them were cute, and in keeping with the "real" look, all of them were people I felt like I had a reasonable chance of chatting up in a bar, should I happen across any of them.
  • The enthusiasm behind the sex was very convincing. Everyone seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves, especially the two women in the first scene.

But as good as all of that was, every scene had some degree of ATM in it. The worst had to be the last scene, with an actress called Keanni Lei. She was doing a 3-way with two men. At one point, when one guy pulled out of her ass and moved up so she could suck him, she said, "I love the taste of my ass." You know, maybe you truly do... but I sure wouldn't want to kiss you afterwards. And she was one of the cutest of the bunch. Certainly the most wholesome-looking. You can never guess, these days!

And to ice the cake, all the sex was bareback. This isn't an old video from the 80's, recently re-mastered onto DVD. This is so new that most of the adult-oriented online rental shops don't even have it in their catalogs, yet. PEOPLE! No matter how recent your HIV test is, unsafe sex in porn just is not cool. As hot as the action was, I couldn't detach myself from this last point. I cannot in good conscience recommend this video to anyone. I don't know if this is usual practice for the production house, Anabolic, or not. But I don't feel very inclined to check out more of their product to see.

Dausa

Labels: ,

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Let Violet Blue Talk Dirty to You

I freely admit that I haven't kept up with the current trend of "podcasting". So, for now I'm making do with downloading the MP3 files and listening to them with my usual player (XMMS).

One of the first I've given a listen to is Violet Blue's, called "Open Source Sex". And you could do a lot worse than hearing her voice reading erotica.

D

Labels: , ,

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Restless

I'm restless.

I'm restless in three distinct areas of my life. Fortunately, I have three distinct blogs, each covering (more or less) one of those three aspects. So I'm making three entries at (roughly) the same time.

I'm restless in my sex life. I haven't written in a while. A lot of the reason for that has been that I'm in a great dry spell, and since I'm not getting any sex, it's hard to get too enthusiastic about writing on the subject. And I haven't been being a very good addict, either, given that I've turned away possibilities (even if some of them maybe weren't as certain as I thought at the moment). I feel the need for some changes. Not so much that I give up the "unrepented" part of my chosen label, but changes all the same.

I feel sort of greedy-- I know what I want, but I don't know that it is reasonable to expect to find that in a person. Granted, I believe in polyamory, but worrying about a plural relationship is jumping the gun when I don't even have a basic relationship at the moment. I have generally felt like I could be just as comfortable in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, provided that I found the right person. Heh... talking about my ability to be happy in a mono relationship, in the context of a sex addict's blog, that's pretty funny.

I don't think that sleeping with other people is contrary to monogamy, if the other half is aware and approving. And I don't call it poly unless there is an emotional bond with the other people. If I find someone to partner with for the long-haul, and we happen to like to go to the occassional swinger's party, I would still consider our relationship mono, unless we chose to model it differently. Women like this exist, but they are a highly sought-after resource, and thus very rare.

My libido hasn't diminished. I still spend plenty of time taking things well in hand. At least once a day, unless outside sources of stress slow me down. I just feel as though the way I currently pursue pleasure isn't as satisfying as it once was, and I need more. This is coupled with some strong yearnings to move from the bay area. Either back to Denver, or someplace new. LA, maybe, or even Seattle. East coast might make an interesting change. I'd love to live in England for a while, if I could get a job that would sponsor a work-visa for me.

Even though I keep this blog focused more on sex than relationships, I'm just not sure that the scene as it exists here is quite right for me. I might feel differently if I lived in SF instead of the south bay. Or if I lived in the LA area and had connections into any sort of scene there (since I don't see myself as having the kind of cool that gets me invited to parties in Porn Valley). Part of it is the general sense of neo-puritanism that is slowly creeping across the country-- hence the musings about England. I wouldn't be so worried, if I saw more people trying to stand up to the Religious Reich. Oh, there are people out there taking their stands. But they're fewer in number these days (or at least, so it seems). I feel less and less welcomed, even living in California. But I don't want to make this into a political rant, so...

I have to re-discover excitement. That may mean moving, it may mean taking a radically-different tack on dating. Part of what makes me so restless is the fact that I don't know for certain what direction I should be looking in. It wouldn't suprise me in the least if I were to find it right under my nose, yet just out of my line of sight.

Dausa

Labels:

Monday, July 11, 2005

Today's PSA (Public Snarkiness Announcement)

(Alternate title: "You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Post is About You")

If you are reading this blog, I do appreciate your time and attention. I know there are hundreds of thousands of websites you could be spending time at, other than here.

That said, please keep a few ground rules in mind:
  1. Don't assume I'm writing about you. I'm probably not. In fact, if I'm going to write about a specific person with whom I'm still in contact, I'll get your permission first.
  2. If you want to comment, I welcome your feedback. But if you are going to take a pot-shot at me, don't do it anonymously. If you don't want others reading your name/handle/whatever, e-mail me privately using the link on the right.
  3. If you don't want to say something snippy in a fashion that let's me know who you are, don't fucking bother saying it at all. In fact, if you are that bothered by what I write that you need to snipe at me anonymously, don't read me. Period. Re: hundreds of thousands of other websites. Go find one.
Geez. High school was a long time ago for me. And I really don't miss it that much.

D

Labels:

Sunday, July 10, 2005

And I Call Myself an Addict?

I mean, I wonder sometimes.

For the second time in less than a month, I'm turning away a sure thing. Someone I know I could have (almost literally) with a snap of my fingers. And I'm doing it for all the wrong sorts of reasons: consideration, maturity, and an annoying sense of honor.

In both cases, the person is totally ready and willing. Neither represent cases of hard-sell or manipulation. But I choose not to pursue, indeed to prevent. Mostly because I don't want to deal with the emotional fall-out. And yet, I have the nagging feeling that I'm doing it in part because I know that it's the right thing to do, in the compassionate sense.

I mean, what's that all about? I'm a little old to be suddenly getting all mature...

D

Labels: ,