Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Brain-Sex Test

An interesting test of how your brain scales on the male-to-female spectrum, over at the BBC.

My results below the cut, as the output is pretty long-ish...

(Edit: This is "sex" as in "gender", not as in "yes please")

Part 1

Angles

This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space.
Your score: 17 out of 20
Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20
Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women.

If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability.

If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men.

Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest.

Spot the difference

This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects.
Your score: 43%
Average score for men: 39%
Average score for women: 46%

What does your score suggest?

If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory.

If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain.

If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another.

Part 2

Hands

You said your right thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together.

Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical.

Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes.

However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous.

Part 3

Emotions and Systems

This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise.

Empathising

Your empathy score is: 6 out of 20
Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20
Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising.

Systemising

Your systemising score is: 20 out of 20
Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20
Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising.

Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Is a possible to make yourself more empathic?

Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times.

Eyes

This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions.
Your score: 8 out of 10
Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10
Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally.

If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions.

If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category.

Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test.

Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all.

Part 4

Fingers

We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to:
Right Hand: 0.95
Left Hand: 0.94

Average ratio for men: 0.982
Average ratio for women: 0.991

It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same.

Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length.

Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. Find out what other things scientists think our ratios may tell us.

Part 5

Faces

This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity.

Your choices suggest you prefer more feminine faces.

Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones.

Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely.

A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face.

Part 6

3D shapes

This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes.

Your score: 12 out of 12
Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12
Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range.

If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men.

If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain.

Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same.

Words

This task looked at your verbal fluency.

Your score: you associated 8 word(s) with grey and you named 9 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct.
Average score for men: 11.4 words total
Average score for women: 12.4 words total

What does your result suggest?

If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words.

If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain.

Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone.

Ultimatum

This task asked you how you would divide money.

If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25

So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average.

What does your response suggest?

Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male.

Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising.

Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power.

(Not sure if I agree with it all, but it was fun to take. --D)

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Monday, October 24, 2005

I Declare Mondays for Ass-Blogging

Based on a passing comment of mine, with a vote of support from some readers, I've decided to try and start the tradition of Monday Ass Blogging, to go with Wednesday Cock Blogging and Friday Pussy Blogging. And the best part is that everyone gets to play!

My appreciation of the sexual potential of my ass is not as strong as the potential of my cock. I started to say, "Of course!" at the end of that. But that's not a given for every man, so I don't want to give that wrong impression.

But anyway, back to my story. It was sometime in 1996. I was living in Denver with P (mentioned in the last post). I'd just bought a new Saturn, fresh off the showroom floor. P needed to drive back home to visit family (a drive of about 500 miles or so), so I suggested that she take the new car and leave me with her older one. I'd rather get stuck in or around town, than have her stuck in the middle of rural Colorado.

Her leaving (along with a houseguest we'd been entertaining who was returning with her), meant that I would have the whole house to myself for a few days. And that meant I could pull out the toys and play with myself in a manner I rarely did anymore: I was going to use a medium-sized dildo that was normally P's toy.

So I waited for about an hour after they left, figuring that if anyone forgot anything they'd likely remember within the first 15-30 minutes. I was giving them enough time to get 30 minutes away and still turn back. When they didn't, I went to work.

I took out the toybag we kept in the back of the closet. From it, I took out the dildo I planned to use, and the bottle of lube we kept there. I laid out a bath towel on the bed so that I could be very liberal with it. I don't play with my ass very much, so I always take caution. I planned on using the "give" of the waterbed to help me manipulate the dildo while having a hand free to wank with.

So, I'm set. House to myself, towel spread on the bed, well-lubed dildo starting to ease its way into my ass, and my raging boner in my (also lubed) left hand (yes, I'm a leftie).

I hear the car pull up in the driveway, and multiple doors open and close.

Luckily for me, my bedroom is far from the front door of the house. I have just-enough time to discharge the dildo, wipe myself clean (ass and hands both) and get myself dressed.

P comes bounding in, wide-eyed and shaken. On the interstate, just outside of Denver, some on-coming vehicle had thrown a rock that glanced off the driver's door's window, shattering it. We couldn't get it repaired in time for her to make it home on schedule, so we vacuumed out the glass and covered the opening with plastic sheeting. After a nice cup of hot chocolate (it was March in Denver, still pretty nipply weather), they were ready to head out again. As she walked with me back in the general direction of my room as we hugged and kissed good-bye, she saw for the first time the array of implements on my bed.

She looked me square in the eye with that "you are so busted" look, and asked, "Did we interrupt something?" I just insisted that she get back on the road before it get too late and too cold. She was smirking all the way back to the car.

As for me, alas, the mood had passed.

Dausa

(Now, faithful readers, go forth and spread the meme! Make Monday Ass-Day!)

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Saturday, October 22, 2005

Sex Makes Men Stupid

That is the only explanation I can come up with for the story I am about to relate to you.

This story doesn't actually involve me, it was related to me by an ex-SO with whom I'm still close. It's a sordid tale of an adventurous couple who, as you would expect, find that their first threesome didn't end up as planned.

Actually, this tale isn't so much sordid as sad. I don't have the deliciously-dirty details of deeds done. My friend didn't give me much detail, but you can just plug-in your favorite two-girls-one-guy threeway story. Only lame it up some, as you'll understand shortly.

See, there's my ex, P, with whom I'm still close friends. Then there is the married couple, PN and AN (Mr. and Mrs., in that order). The problem is that P is a tenant of AN, and a former employee. Because of this, and because she is the sort to easily fall into a feeling of obligation towards others, she found herself recently in the company of a drunken AN and a lecherous PN. In their company when AN decided she wanted to have a threesome, give PN a chance to experience a fantasy. She wasn't exactly subtle, throwing herself at P and not really taking "no" for an answer.

At this point, you're no doubt thinking that P need to make it clear that "no means no". But she is currently in debt to them, financially and in other ways. She didn't feel like she could really say no. So she decided to go along with it, even against her better judgement.

But what she did do, wisely (in my opinion), was rein in the experience for PN. Keep in mind that P is the amazing oralist who taught me (almost) everything I know about going down on a woman. The source of some of the best blowjobs I've received. But also one of the savviest people I've ever shared a bed with. She made it a point to not be too terribly good in the bed. She also made sure that she herself didn't bring him to orgasm, that he only came with his wife. Afterwards, she made tracks for home.

Well, this is where my statement in the subject line comes in. What is it that makes men so stupid when it comes to sex? I don't mean the stupidity of the situation itself; that's easily explained: she's a drunk and he's a lech. That's not what I'm referring to as stupid. This is: he told his wife that the threesome evening was the best sex he'd had in ages. His birthday was a few days ago, and when AN asked him what he wanted, he said flat out that he wanted a threesome with P again.

So, relations between P and AN have been somewhat strained. She's worried that AN will retaliate through the tenant/employee nature of their relationship. It's not an unreasonable fear, as AN is not always a reasonable person.

This isn't a request for advice. I have none to offer P, and I know that there is little if anything my readership can offer.

What this is, is a request to the men out there: wise the fuck up. Don't go telling your wife/SO/etc. after a threesome that it was the best you've ever had. And if you do, for fuck's sake, make it clear that it was HER that made it special. This situation was just totally bone-headed, and two people are hurt as a result.

Someday I'll write about my first threesome (which, not coincidentally, included P). And when I do, I'll hopefully illustrate how I managed to keep both of my partners contented emotionally, as opposed to feeling alienated or exploited. I mean, sheesh, did this guy think this was the surest way to a second adventure?

Dausa

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I Love My Penis

Getting back into the habit of regular blogging has been harder than I was expecting. Not just in terms of writing regularly, but also in my reading of other blogs as well. I've managed to keep up with a few, but I confess that I'm out of touch with most of you guys. But for now, I'm happy to report that my closest friend and I are back on speaking terms. Better than that, we're back to the old comfort level; we've re-discovered the passion in our relationship.

Man, you really don't appreciate simple pleasures like masturbation until something interferes with them. Of all the after-effects I was expecting from the surgery I had last month, being off my libido for so long wasn't one of them. I expected it would be absent for a while; after all, this was surgery in a very sensitive area, and even with painkillers the pain was going to be a constant companion for a while.

But even once the pain had packed up and left, the libido wasn't ready to end the vacation and come home. Believe me, I tried. The mental component was there-- I still had the emotional urge for sex. But as the saying goes, the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. Weak? Not even interested in trying. Err, I was interested, but the parts not directly adjacent to the brain were less so.

So the first time I was able to bring myself off, about 3 weeks after the surgery, was almost as amazing as my very first time. Even still, it was another week before I did it again. After that, the old me started to return. For a few nights, I was back to my 1-2 per-day regular relaxation techniques. It still ebbs and flows, though. As I write this, I think it's been nearly a week since I last took things into hand. I plan to remedy that as soon as I finish, though.

A wonderful highlight came about a week and a half ago. A former lover called up and wanted to, well, just drop by and give me head. I actually had to think about it for a bit, because I was on an ebb rather than a flow. I was seriously worried that I wouldn't be able to get things up for her, let alone keep them up for the whole event. But I had nothing to worry about, turns out. Not only was I up for it physically, she had apparently picked up a few new tricks since we'd last been together. Or maybe it was the long time since I'd been with someone, combined with the yearning to put the flatline-libido period behind me. Probably a combination of the two. But she rang my bell something wonderful.

Oh, it was so nice. As the title-line reads, I truly love my cock. Not just because of our physical closeness, but because of all the lovely memories it's brought me. Sometimes, on weekend mornings, I allow myself an hour or more to play with myself. I'll re-read some favorite erotica, perhaps, or just close my eyes and let my imagination set things up. Sometimes, I lay a towel under my hips so I can use lube without worrying about the bed-sheets. Most of the time, I don't need it. These morning sessions are meant to be slow, gentle, and deliberate. If the phone rings, I don't answer it. When I use my hands, I don't just rub up and down. I caress from my inner thighs to my nipples. (I don't know why men have nipples, but as long as they're there I'm going to enjoy them.) I'll lightly scratch my fingernails along the most sensitive areas. It may be 10-15 minutes before I even touch my cock. But when I do, again I use both hands and go slowly, lovingly, caressing every inch from base to tip. If I'm not using lube, I'll sometime wet my fingertips with saliva and use that to slicken things up. In my head, that's always sexier than lube. And in my head, I'm reliving favorite moments with favorite people. My first threesome, maybe. Or the time in Seattle that I and my partner made love 6 times in less than 12 hours (I was a younger man then). Depending on how long I wish to draw it out, I might bring myself to the edge and back off several times. But eventually, it comes down to the moment when I know I can't turn back. When I decide I'm ready, and let all the tension spill over and burst. I probably actually cry out at this point; I'm usually not paying attention to that at the time. I left every pulse run its course, every jet lay where it falls. Then I drop my hands away, and just relax. Let my breathing slowly return to normal. Let the warm feeling of exhaustion sweep over me. I can feel my own fluids starting to cool on my skin, and sometimes I play with them a little.

Eventually, I get up and shower. And not surprisingly, those days are usually the ones when I'm in my better moods.

I'm glad our relationship is strong again.

Dausa

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