Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Memory Lane: First Threesome

(For lack of any current goings-on, I'm reaching into the memory-vault for this one. Not that I don't like recalling the high-points of past sex-capades, but that is a limited resource. If I don't add some new memories to the vault eventually, the well will run dry.)

My first threesome involved Nine Inch Nails, suggestive dancing, and a water-bed. It did not, however, involve penetration.

I don't remember exactly when it was. I do know that it was after the release of Nine Inch Nails' Closer, and it was around the time that NIN toured for the album with Marilyn Manson and the Jim Rose Circus. The album came out in 1994, so it was probably that year. From what I remember of the weather, it was either late fall of '94 or late winter of '95. Come to think of it, it was after a trip I'd made to New Orleans, so I'm going to go with the '95 estimate.

I was involved with PC, someone I've mentioned here before (since we were together for so long). By this point, I knew she was bisexual. Mind you, this wasn't something she told me until we'd known each other quite a while, and had been intimate for some time, as well. I don't know why she took so long to tell me. It could be that she was tired of guys assuming that she'd hook them up with a 3-way when they learned. Or maybe she didn't think I could handle it. I was awfully naive when she and I met, much more so than I ever realized at the time. Whatever the reason, once I found out I never tried to get her to set us up, which may be why she finally did so on her own. Well, sort of on her own.

There was this stunning Amazon of a woman that we knew, JR. 5'11", lovely curvy proportions, dark red hair. Bisexual and polyamorous, and very open about both. At some point a few months earlier, I had learned two interesting things at separate times: JR thought PC was hot, and PC felt the same about JR. On the minus side, JR lived in Minnesota. On the plus side, however, she worked as a flight attendant for a major airline and tended to hit Denver 3-5 times a year. Besides a shared attraction, they had another interest in common: Nine Inch Nails. Who were going to be in Denver at some upcoming date, at a time that coincided with one person's birthday (JR's, I think). So I got tickets for us all, and JR used her latitude as an airline employee to come visit and go to the concert.

The night of the concert, I was a nervous wreck. Was this really going to happen? Would I really be having a threesome? Or would I be left out, again? See, some months earlier, PC had tried to set something up around my birthday. A woman she met who was pretty openly-sexual and who seemed to like PC, invited us out for drinks. A fourth person came along, but that didn't bother me. But the evening went in a direction that is so far beyond wrong, I can't even go into it here. Besides, this story is about the evening that went right. So here I was, nervous after a previous disaster, but what did I have to complain about? I was at a concert of Marilyn Manson and NIN. Manson (who I wasn't really into) had just finished, and the Jim Rose Circus was on stage. Amazing show. But we really wanted to see NIN. So as much as we liked Jim Rose, we were happy when he finished.

The NIN show was fantastic. I've seen them on other occasions, but this one was the best. Maybe because of other events, I've come to romanticize it, but I really do think they were in top form. And the three of us, well... we went from just cheering to dancing in place in our seats, to dancing close and intimate during "Something I Can Never Have". And believe it or not, I was so distracted by these two women, that the irony of the title as applied to my current situation was completely lost on me!

That song, that dancing, changed the whole dynamic of the evening. Up to that point, I think all three of us were entertaining "what if?" thoughts. After that point, "if" transformed to "when". Touching that had been just light and fleeting became more deliberate, and lingering. As much as we loved the concert, we all seemed ready for the last encore to end. Of course, this was a huge concert at an arena, so it took for-FUCKING-ever to get out of the parking lot and back home. By this time, it was no longer such a sure thing... we were more tired than we'd been, and less wired. The time spent getting out of the lot and home had let some of the intensity wane. But under it all, we all three still wanted this. That's one of the best parts about looking back at this: I can see with certainty that unless they had wanted it as badly as I did, there were dozen of excuses and chances to get out that could have been used.

Instead, we all climbed into my king-sized water-bed, and spent some time building the intensity back up. At first, we kind of all looked to one another a little sheepishly. I knew even then that neither of them were strangers to sex where N > 2, but it seemed right to do, to take some time to push out the frustration of the traffic, the residual noise of the concert. I don't know how long we waited, but eventually the waiting turned back into mutual caressing. And the caressing turned into kissing. I had never seen two women kiss before this. Oh, I'd seen it in porn, and some short kisses in mainstream films. Heck, I'd been to the art-house theater and seen a few lesbian-themes movies, even. But this was real, it was right in front of me. And the real thing is just so much better than film can ever be! So it's a cliché, so it's typically-male of me to say: two women who are truly into each other, kissing passionately, is totally fucking hot.

I don't know how long we'd been at this point. It might have been two hours, it might have been fifteen minutes. But JR looked in PC's eyes and said to her, "I want to taste you". A younger me would probably have shot his wad at that moment. Instead, I scooted towards the edge of the bed to allow them room, so they wouldn't feel crowded by me. And I got to watch.

Did you know that women don't really make love like the way it's portrayed in mainstream porn? Yeah, not exactly a revelation. And I knew that at the time, but I didn't know it, if you understand my meaning. But I started to understand it. Watching JR as she worked her way so slowly from kissing PC on the mouth, to kissing her throat, her breasts, her nipples, her belly... until finally she buried her face between her legs. I was so rapt by this, I didn't even stroke myself. I just watched, hoping that I'd be able to recall this until well into old age. It was just so beautiful. It was the first time I'd been able to watch two people like that at all, hetero or not.

After JR had worker her magic, I slid in and also went down on PC. I don't even think I felt threatened or anything, I wasn't doing it in an effort to prove to her that I could still get her off. It just seemed right... she was still laying there, glowing from the first orgasm, so I wanted her to have another. Then the two switched places, and PC started in on JR. This was definitely a side of my SO I hadn't seen before! I mean, I knew first-hand how talented her mouth was, but this was different. The look in her eyes as she locked them with JR, it was completely unlike the looks she gave me. Oh, and I did mention that it was already quite clear that JR was indeed a natural red-head, right? PC was in a sort of goth phase at the time, and the contrast of her jet-black hair on JR's thighs, spilling over to the edges of her auburn-red bush, well, I did suddenly remember that I was capable of stroking myself. When she came, JR came almost completely off the bed, her back arching and her head tilted backwards until from her vantage point the headboard seemed directly above her. When she calmed down, it was a given that I would go in, much as I had previously.

This was the strangest-feeling part of it, for me. I hadn't been with anyone else since PC and I started dating. Oh, we considered ourselves in an open relationship, but my job was so demanding of my time that I only had time to spend with her. She would occasionally see someone else, just to get out and have some fun. But I wasn't jealous-- I wanted her to be able to have her own me-time, much as my hobby and hobby-club meetings were for me. But here I was, about to put mouth to clit on what was really only my third vulva (recall that I was a latecomer to the whole cunnilingus thing), and my partner was settling in to watch me with (it looked like) every bit as much interest and fascination as I'd had while watching her. I was more nervous, this time. When I had just done this with my partner, I knew what she liked, what turned her on. But with JR, it was a whole new time of discovery. Every lick, every flick of the tip of my tongue, I was paying attention anew, hoping for signs that would tell me if this was adding to or distracting from the experience for her. I must have done something right, because I got the same reaction PC had. And it felt so good to have brought that out in her.

As fate would have it, we ended it there. I wish I could say that PC leaned in and shared in the licking, but that's another thing that tends to be only in the realm of porn; there just wasn't really room for both of us at once. I wish I could say that next it was my turn, and that they dueled tongues like swords around my throbbing cock. But the reality was, by this time it was pretty close to 4AM. The next morning, I would have to get to work, PC would have to get her son to school, and afterwards JR back to the airport. So instead, we cuddled up together and slept.

And I don't regret that at all. It was an almost-perfect night, and I'd rather have stopped it when we did than push ourselves and risk spoiling it. Besides, it was pretty clear that this wouldn't be a one-time thing, and I'm nothing if not patient... but I'll leave that for another post.

-Dausa

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