Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Always Start from the Beginning

Call me Dausa. It's not my name, of course, it's the acronym of the title of this weblog. I like that it works out to a pronounceable word. It's also a district in India, but I digress.

I am a sex addict. This is the first time I've actually admitted this in so many words. I've more or less copped to it in conversations (read: arguments) with one of my exes, but never have I just come right out and said it like that. Thing is, I'm not actually looking to "cure" myself of this, at least not at this stage. I'm more interested in getting the rest of my life to function around it. Hence the "unrepentant" part of the title.

I came up with the idea of this blog earlier this evening, while having sex with a prostitute. In true sex-addict form, by the time I was actually in the midst of the act, I was already thinking ahead. Only, there isn't much for me to think ahead to, right now. This will likely be the last time I do the commercial-sex thing for a while. I've fallen on some hard financial times (ironically, not related to my addiction) lately, and I just won't have the budget for it. But I'm an addict, so I had to have one last spin before giving it up. And in the midst of it, I thought maybe now is a good time to start looking at it in a different way. And what better way to explore something personal, than a blog made readable by the masses?

I'm 37 as of today (the 3rd), and I figure I'm just a few shy of 90 sexual partners. For those counting at home, that would be just under 4 per year starting at age 15. Only I didn't start at 15, I actually only had one partner before age 18 (oral sex only, but unlike certain past presidents, I count that) when I more formally lost my virginity. So that's more like 4.5/year on average, but the reality is that about 3/4 of them have been in the 7 years since I moved to San Jose, California. So now we're at 9.2 per year over that period. Not bad for a guy who's actually debilitatingly shy, huh?

I have tales to tell (but no names to name), and I have "the issues" to try and resolve. Whether you stick around for it is your choice. Do understand that the way ahead is fraught with strong language and seriously adult content. If this offends, I suggest you may find other things on the web to look at.

Dausa

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