Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

33 Days, 33 Posts: Day 3 - Oh, It's Hard All Right

Actually, right this minute it's only about half-hard. Fleshbot presented another "take that, Dausa" moment with today's video. I don't want to wonder about the necessary mechanics of filming hardcore sex underwater, but her hair looks devastatingly sexy, flowing around her face like it does.

I came so very close to giving in. It's still way too early in this effort to crack so easily. Several enticing possibilities on the Craigslist m4m casual encounters forum. Multiple opportunities to go to someone's location, unzip, be blown, and leave without any pesky details. But that's the kind of reckless, emotionally-empty encounters I'm trying to break myself from.

It's Wednesday, known in our little sub-culture as Cock-Blogging Wednesday. So, I'm going to think about my friend a little bit, just to assure myself that this isn't about any self-loathing or anything.

The Girl has a survey she put together, asking men to make some honest judgments about how they regard their tackle. One thing I couldn't help but notice, some of her questions lack neutral answers. She asks if you (the reader) think that smaller is better or bigger. Then, asks whether you think women prefer smaller or larger. But neither question gives you an option of saying neither (other than just not ticking any of those boxes). No way to say that you think women (or at least, most of the women you've interacted with) are less concerned with size (big or small) than with skill (or lack thereof). She asks if you are happy with your own size, and if given the chance would you have a larger cock.

Well, I'm pretty damn happy with my little friend. I don't think I'd want mine much bigger, as all of my partners have been plenty happy with what I had to offer. And many of them have had lovers larger than myself (some significantly larger, in fact... at least one person has had two or more that were honestly 12" or more). And if there is anything I've prided myself on more than being an attentive lover, it's that I've managed to foster relationships where I could have these sorts of conversations in honesty. Even now, as I struggle to take this month-long break from orgasms, there's little I'd change about my dick. If anything, I'd opt to be a show-er rather than a grow-er. Neither I nor anyone I've dated has every seen a dick with such a range in growth. When soft, it's smaller than my thumb. If you see me in a completely deflated state, it's pretty unflattering. But once it grows, well, most people forget any misgivings they may have had. But first impressions do count for a lot. When I see dicks like the one Bad Bad Girl shows a picture of in this column, I can't help but be jealous a little bit. I don't have a semi-hard state like that-- for me it's either thumb-dick or billy-club. Maybe that's an erection shot... it looks more like semi-hard to me, but it could be fully-hard. Still, I wouldn't trade my cock for anyone else's, not even a porn stars. Mine makes my partners (when I have them) happy. And, more to the point, it makes me happy.

(Well, when I'm not trying to make a point to myself.)


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