Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Monday, March 28, 2005

How I Learned to Love to Lick


Such a sterile word for such a rich experience. In the film "Dangerous Liasons", John Malkovich's Valmont says to Uma Thurman's Cécile, "We shall start your education with two Latin words." (Three guesses what the second one is.) Of course, that's just the technical term. Over the years, we've come up with some truly colorful euphemisms for it.

As I mentioned before, I had the truly unusual experience of having a long string of sexual partners who were eager to go down on me while being adamantly opposed to letting me reciprocate. It was such a strange thing-- I knew how much I enjoyed receiving, and my impulse was to want to share that with the other person. Sometimes I tried to be sneaky about out, which usually ended up with me trying to pry apart a death-grip of thighs from around my head.

One, two, three, four, five partners that wouldn't let me. Along the way, I learned to consider it just as distasteful as these women apparently did. By the sixth or so, I had quit asking.

Until this one trip to Seattle...

I had been hanging out in a MUSH (a kind of combination chat/gaming server) for a while, one that was more chat than gaming. And one person in particular, I'd been chatting with quite a while. Of course, by "chat" I mean cyber-sex. And it had been getting more than just a little serious. We were already past the point of lamenting the distance between us (I in Denver and her in Spokane), and starting to theorize about one visiting the other. Then, out of the blue, my company needed someone to go to an office in Seattle and do some tutoring/coaching for a team that was having trouble with our software. We talked, and she said she could make it to Seattle just fine.

But there was a hitch in this from my vantage point-- I'd talked up a storm about going down, all kinds of colorful and nasty and delicious descriptions. In my head, I knew what to do. But I'd never done it. And now, if we hit it off in person half as well as we had online, I'd have to put my money where my mouth is. Errr, put my mouth where my words... eh... you get the picture.

So, cutting to the chase. In person, she was a knock-out. And she seemed to be happy with what she saw in me, as well. After dinner and a first kiss under the Space Needle, we ended up back in my hotel room. And we were all about the humpin'. I mean, you'd think neither of us had had sex in a decade or more. We went nearly non-stop for 3-4 hours that night, another 1-2 when we woke up, and in the shower as well. To this date, it still stands as my most amazing 24-hour period. And of course, you can't keep a woman consistently entertained for that long without heading south.

I pretty much just winged it. I did my best to do things the way I had described them. And I guess I did all right, because she was certainly contented when we finally stopped for sleep. I tried to pay attention to her reactions, but to be fair I think I was too nervous to do much more than try and keep my grip when she started bucking her hips.

So, a little while after this was when I entered into what would be a 5-year relationship. It was also the first person I was with that I knew from the outset to be bisexual. I didn't know just how bi, though over the years she eventually told me more and more lurid stories. But I digress. She was pretty generous with her oral favors, but she was also pretty sure that she deserved equal consideration. I explained my history to her, and she was just floored by the number of women I'd been with who resisted that. She assured me that I would never hear a complaint from her, so feel free to go for it whenever I felt like it.

And I did. But I was still clumsy, inexperienced. And here, for the first time, was someone who not only let me to go down, but had first-hand experiece on how to do it. And so began my "apprenticeship". It wasn't long before I was going down like a natural. Oddly-enough, she wasn't quite convinced that I liked it, that I was doing it for any reason other than a sense of obligation. I tried to reassure her, but I guess because I was so hesitant at first she couldn't quite believe me. I had to think of a way to convince her of my sincerety.

So, for five consecutive nights, when we went to bed I went down on her. I stayed on it until she came, even the nights when it took nearly 20 minutes. When done, I would clean up and get back into bed. I would not let her return the favor, nor would we fuck. Five nights. No breaks.

On the sixth night, we made love like it was our first time together. (And on the seventh night, we rested.)

Since then, I've been pretty comfortable with my skills in that area, and I try to work it in with everyone I'm with (within reason, given the limitations some sex workers impose). I often get almost as aroused from that as I do from receiving it myself. One person here in California was feeling insecure (shades of my first lovers), until I placed her hand on my erection to show that I was indeedy enjoying the act of giving her head.

Is it any wonder I'm an addict? There is so much to enjoy, so many places to lick, stroke, nibble. I can't believe that I left one off of my list for so long, but I'm committed to making up for all the lost time. Oh, and at least one of the first five later confessed to me that she had been horribly wrong to stop me-- after she got married and her husband talked her into it, she vividly understood what she had been denying herself all those years.



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