33 Days, 33 Posts: Day 5 - Movies I Can't Watch

I was reading a post by recently-named Best Sex Blog winner Ilyana Lanai, where she refers back to Angelina Jolie's lesbian turn in Gia. (Just so you know... the cute blond she had that wonderful sex scene with? Now playing "Juliet" on Lost.)

My first impulse was to grab my copy of Gia (unrated edition, of course) and re-visit the scene. But that would be counter-productive to the cause. It got me to thinking about the other DVDs I have on hand, that are currently just as off-limits as my hardcore porn:

• Sex and Lucia - Probably pretty obvious from the title. Paz Vega's rampant nudity (some deliciously full-frontal) is bad-enough, but there's a scene where Elena Anaya is describing a fantasy scene to the male lead, a scene in which her character is on a couch with a huge dildo playing with herself while watching porn on her TV. Woof.
• Romance - Hearing French is almost enough to get me stiff, and the fact that this film featured un-faked sex in some of the scenes (without being as blatant as traditional porn) is even better. The female lead isn't as hot (to my tastes) as Paz Vega or Angelina, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed.
• Irreversible - Few actresses currently working just drip sex like Monica Belluci does. You may want to skip the rape scene about mid-way through (it's so violent and explicit that most of the screening audience at Cannes walked out during it). But almost at the end, there's a scene with Belluci and real-life hubby Vincent Cassel. Probably not as real as in Romance, but damn that boy's drawn a winning karma-card this time around.
• Y Tu Mamá También - When the three finally have the threesome you've been waiting all movie long for, there's hardly any really hot-and-heavy nudity at that point. But it would set me off, all the same. Oh so hot...

There are other movies just as spicy, but these are the ones I own. There are others I own that would not be so, ahem, dangerous. But these are off-limits for the time being.

Of course, if worse comes to worse, I can just rent The Brown Bunny and let the image of Vincent Gallo getting a true-to-life blowjob from Chloë Sevigny totally kill my libido.

-D