33 Days, 33 Posts: Day 21 - Nothing But Downers Today

Today was going to be the day I gave up. Mentally, I had given up. I'm in the second day of a three-day weekend (I have tomorrow off), and pretty much everything that could go badly has. A craft project of mine was so badly damaged that I have had to buy a replacement kit and start re-doing about 75% of what I'd already completed. I've been watching "The State Within", recorded from BBC America, and besides depressing me with the flagrant parallels in our fucked-up administration and their fucked-up War On (Some) Terror, combined with all the Britishisms make me regret all the more not having moved. A few other things have gone past my eyes today, many of which have done a bang-up job of reminding me of other dreams I've pissed away.

So I was pretty much in a "to hell with it" mood, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I know the pleasure is fleeting, but right now I could use even a fleetingly-small amount of pleasure. But I'm almost at the 2/3 mark, the goal is almost within sight. So I made it through today. But this whole plan has lost its amusement for me. I don't know that I have anything left to learn from it.

-D