Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Thursday, March 10, 2005

You Just Don't Turn Me On Like You Used To

The phrase of the day is, "Porn Decay".

Everything decays and breaks down. Few things truly last forever, save perhaps canned Spam, holiday fruitcake and herpes. And even herpes dies with you, so it barely counts.

I've been throwing out a lot of porn lately. It just doesn't have that zing it once did. The story collections like Penthouse Forum have been read so often, I can all but recite the story after reading the opening sentence. I'm saving select photo magazines, but most of them are en route to recycling dumps already. I've kept most of my erotica collections, as even though I know them as well as the Forums, they're at least better-written. I'm also dumping a lot of my electronic porn, as well. Lots of still images, and a considerable amount of ripped video from porno DVDs. It just wasn't doing much for me, so why let it take up space?

Every book or magazine that I throw away, every file or AVI that I delete, each has a tiny little statement associated with it: You just don't excite me anymore. It's sad, but true. That story about the best friend's girlfriend who beckons to you from the shower? Only a small twitch where once there was a straining tightness. And the video with Jenna Jameson and Anna Malle, I just skip around you, looking for little key snippets. You don't hold me in rapt attention like the first 20 or so times I viewed you. Don't feel bad, though, it's really my fault. I've become jaded.

Many anti-porn crusaders claim that ordinary porn leads to an ever-escalating need for more and more extreme porn, until the viewer finally becomes a sexual predator of some sort. A rapist, a child molester, the anti-porn crowd will find porn the cause of the problem, not merely another symptom. But after a good 25 years or so of viewing porn, I've had zero impulse to sexually assault anyone, adult or child. The kind of porn I view hasn't really changed in any appreciable way. When I get bored with one pictorial magazine, I replace it with a new one in the same general genre. Same with story-mags or videos.

Only lately, I find that even the replacements don't do much. The story in the new Penthouse Forum may start with a different sentence, but I can already tell what the plot and "climax" of the story will be. All videos these days seems to follow the same formulaic scene layouts (mostly designed to make sure that every scene involves every orifice the woman has). But rather than suddenly coming to the conclusion that the logical next step is rape, I'm taking the radically-different direction of just dumping the porn and not replacing it.


(And to those who might rightfully point out that an internet connection is a virtually endless stream of porn, I prefer my wanking to be in a much more comfortable setting and position than the chair at my computer desk.)


  • I have found this to be true, too. I haven't had voracious porn appetites, but there was a time when anything that related to my kink instantly got me worked up. Now, not so much. It kind of feels like a waste of time, actually.

    The ironic part is that porn with my kink as the topic has become exponentially more *hot* over the past five years. The other ironic part is that I enjoy actual sex a lot more now...or maybe that isn't ironic at all?

    By Blogger Julie, at Friday, March 11, 2005 8:09:00 PM  

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