Diary of An Unrepentant Sex Addict

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

We're Past Anxiety, and Well Into Panic

Anxiety is the first time you can't do it a second time.
Panic is the second time you can't do it a first time.

I'm here in Colorado, and damn it all to hell but I'm not able to perform.

I guess it's time I came clean, mostly to myself: I've let my health go these past few years, and I've been getting progressively worse. And now, it's gotten to the point where I can't get it up or keep it up for someone I have a long (pleasant) history with. I came out here looking forward to several sessions of no-holds (or holes) barred fornication. And yet, both times we've tried, I had trouble getting it up, and eventually lost it.

I know I have to get myself into a more healthy place. And I know that doing so will address this problem. But right now, I just feel like a total waste of space.

D

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10 Comments:

  • Hon, I'm so sorry. Wish I knew something more intelligent to say. Take care...thinking of you...

    By Blogger AlwaysArousedGirl, at Tuesday, November 22, 2005 8:14:00 PM  

  • I can empathise - I've had similar problems in the past. All I can say is, the more your worry about it, the worse it becomes. Having sex with someone with whom you are comfortable gets past a lot of those issues. Stick at it (and deal with your health issues) and you'll end up as priapic as ever.

    Good luck (though you won't need it - this will sort itself out).

    By Blogger Salvatori, at Wednesday, November 23, 2005 12:47:00 AM  

  • I hope this doesn't seem insensitive (to your own worries, which I do think will work themselves out) but I had (what I think was) a similar situation come up (or, more specifically, not come up!) recently with a guy I was seeing - hadn't seen him in several months and was prepared for ravishing sex and.... nothing. he threw every excuse he could at me (a sure sign someone is holding something back), other than admitting that it might be something going on with his own health or lifestyle, but all I could think was that something must be wrong with me. admittedly a failing in my own self-confidence but screwed me up a bit anyways, and took me a while to even consider that maybe it didn't have anything to do with how I looked or how he felt about me. and if something was going on with him, and he had told me about it, I would have been more than happy to work on things, or chalk it up to a one-time problem, or whatever.... but he left me feeling like I did something (was something) wrong and our friendship went down the tubes. sorry to be so long-winded (this whole situation bothered me a lot), I guess what I really wanted to say was that anyone who does have this situation happen should be upfront about it - I don't think women think it is such a big deal unless it seems personal. and I think it happens more than people think!

    By Blogger GoodGirlBadPlace, at Friday, November 25, 2005 6:38:00 PM  

  • Well, in this case I was lucky-enough to be with someone I could talk to honestly about it. But I'm bummed all the same, of course. Her FWB has also been by a lot, probably out of a sense of possessiveness :-).

    I would have been a much bigger wreck if this had happened with someone I was with for the first time.

    By Blogger Dausa, at Friday, November 25, 2005 8:33:00 PM  

  • salvatori is for sure right. Kick back, be comfortable and let things happen naturally. Putting pressure on yourself is the ultimate softy maker. Yes I am sure your health has alot to do with it but relax!! Youll be up and around in no time.

    By Blogger Numb, at Sunday, November 27, 2005 7:51:00 PM  

  • Hi, i am sorry for your poor state of affair.
    I dont know where to begin except that in all honesty, I am an emotional wreck. Once again. Today right now, right here, I am just letting it out and Ill figure it out later.
    I started boozing at the age of 14 when I was in high school. It started when I met my friend (?) Tom (He had a pretty sheltered life as a mayor’s son). It was Tom who used to sponsor all the expenses. But, gradually I was addicted to alcohol and I was suffering from acute depression. I was alone and there was no one who could look after me.
    We couldn’t wait to experience all life had to offer. We got heavily involved in drug and alcohol abuse. Infact, I used to sleep for 16 hrs a day after taking alprazolam overdose.
    It was quite difficult to get alprazolam; we used fake prescriptions to obtain the drugs. And finally, I spent 6 months behind the bars taking rehabs.
    And believe me, I am still addicted… BTW, I found a great site explaining the effects of anti-anxiety drugs in general and alprazolam (Xanax) in particular – www.alprazolam.cc.
    Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
    Andy

    By Anonymous Andy, at Tuesday, November 29, 2005 4:36:00 AM  

  • Update us, please!

    By Blogger AlwaysArousedGirl, at Wednesday, December 07, 2005 2:32:00 PM  

  • Enthralling stuff. Satisfies my tragic online voyeuristic tendencies enough for me to check back...

    By Blogger TMTLTH, at Sunday, December 18, 2005 5:30:00 PM  

  • Can you take a recreational Viagra in the meantime?

    By Blogger Avatar, at Wednesday, December 21, 2005 3:09:00 AM  

  • Anxiety disorder is considered to be one of the worst mental conditions that affect human beings by making them prone to baseless and groundless worries but with the arrival of anti-anxiety medications like xanax in the pharmaceutical market, successful treatment of anxiety related disorders has become an instant possibility. But, instead of straightway moving ahead to use Xanax and other medicines to treat anxiety such as Buspar and Tenormin, you can log in to http://www.pill-care.com and get hold of fundamental tidbits on these medicines first.

    By Anonymous xanax, at Thursday, November 13, 2008 9:49:00 PM  

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