Checking In, Checking Out

Things are still, well, still. I'm back in therapy, but I can't say that I'm any better yet (not that I have any unrealistic expectations, I mean, it's only been 4 weeks or so). I lost my job, due in large part to the negative effect all this mental/emotional crap has had on my ability to perform. Job-wise, that is. Hell, perform in general. The last couple of times I've been in bed with someone haven't exactly been my best form either.

Even though I'm trying to not let any real length of time go before finding a new job, part of me has a driving desire to get out of the bay area, even if only for a few days. But even that is complicated, as I don't know where to go that's both affordable and offers the promise of a truly stress-free few days. I can't go to Colorado right now... even though the friend who is angry with me would let me visit under the current (jobless) circumstance, I'm not ready myself. Part of me wants to go somewhere completely new, part of me wants the comfort of familiarity. I only know that I'm going nuts here, right now. I haven't slept in, well, a while right now. (I very rarely see 9:30 at all, let alone am blogging at such an hour.) When I close my eyes to try and sleep, well, I'm not really relaxed by what I see there.

It's been almost two months since my last entry. I do take some comfort in knowing that even if I'm not really any "better", I think I'm on track for it. It'll just take a little while yet, and I have to hope that I have the luxury of the time it needs. I dunno... I probably shouldn't be blogging on this sort of sleep-deprivation...