Break Time's Over

I needed a break after the 33 Days thing. I've got some material to write, that'll show up over the next few days (allowing for a brief trip down to Orange County this weekend). I didn't really get the sort of, well, "enlightenment" (for lack of any remotely better word) I had hoped the exercise would bring me. Fact is, I'm not really doing that well right now, but I don't yet know how to express it.

-D

33 Days, 33 Posts: Epilogue - What I Have (Not) Learned

Well. Here I am. I didn't get around to writing this yesterday. Unfortunately, it wasn't because I was going buck-wild but rather because I'm suffering from a pinched nerve that makes it really hard to sleep, and thus am not as well-rested as I should be.

I'm not really sure that I learned anything from this. At least, not anything constructive or useful. Certainly I can do This Thing where I don't orgasm for some set period of time. But hey, I just turned 39. That's not the news story it was 20 years ago. I certainly learned that it doesn't diminish the amount I think about sex. Predictably-enough, it boosted it pretty heavily. If anything, I learned that I'm prone to self-sabotage in a big, big way. If I weren't reporting in daily, I never would have made it a week.

Of course, I went out and got laid. I made a valiant effort to pick someone up through Craigslist, but it didn't pan out. Instead, I went to a provider I'd seen before, one that I knew I could count on for a good session. It wasn't the mind-blowing experience I'd had the first time with her (first times are always more exciting, I guess), but it was worth the expenditure. And boy did I spend... she was clearly impressed with the forcefulness of my orgasm, and the quantity of DNA left behind. I also squeezed out a couple on my own, later. I had tried to find something late-night on CL, but no dice. Not to worry, I'm still one of my best lovers.

Unfortunately, without this driving my posting, I fear I may drop off drastically again, and I don't want that. But there is so little new in my life, I'm going to eventually run out of past experiences to mine. Oh well, I'll burn that bridge once I've crossed it. I have some stuff I can still draw upon that should hopefully entertain, at least over the next few days.

-D

33 Days, 33 Posts: Day 33 - Wow

I can't believe I've made it. Granted, I had help in the form of being sick for nearly a week. And I had a semi-wet dream at one point. And let's be clear: I handled myself plenty, I just never allowed myself to orgasm. I couldn't help it-- when laying awake at night with a raging boner, I have to hold it.

I'm not sure, to be honest, what I've learned from this (except that I don't think I want to try it ever again). I'm going to sleep on it, and write an epilogue tomorrow. But first, I do want to thank everyone for the words of encouragement. It really helped more than you would think. Plus, it's just nice to know you're being read and that people enjoy reading you. Again, thanks.

(No, even though it is now officially the 3rd, I haven't wanked yet, because I still want to actually be engaged in sex with another person when I break this fast. To that end, I'm going to sleep before I get any bright ideas...)

Dausa

33 Days, 33 Posts: Day 32 - My Nuts Are the Center of my World

Blue, blue, my balls are blue /
Blue are my balls, on day thirty-two.

(sung to the tune of "Love is Blue")

I can't even touch myself for any length of time. Washing myself in the shower gets me hard, and by the time I'm rinsing the soap off I feel like just dropping to my knees and getting it all over with.

The concept of blue balls is real enough (and you can't imagine how pleased I am to find it covered in Wikipedia). The belief that you could die from it is, of course, wrong. But don't ask me about that right now. Right now, I feel like I have more spooge in my sac than I've ever had before. I can't think straight. And I mean that literally-- I'm at a point where I'm truly equally interested in men or women. Which is to say, I'm so horny at this stage my only concern would be whether I find the person attractive or not. Plumbing is not an issue.

I know there is just the one day left. I know that I'm just so close to reaching my goal. But every nerve-ending I have is screaming out for a release. And tomorrow is Friday; most nights I've gotten home from work late-enough, been tired-enough, that I only worried and fretted on a mostly intellectual level. But tomorrow I'll have all evening to dwell on my plight. Tomorrow will be a long night.

-D